With this being the one year anniversary of my mom’s catastrophic car accident, that resulted in her traumatic brain injury and over 30 days and 30 nights spent in the UAMS Hospital of Little Rock Arkansas, I wanted to talk about some of the defining moments from those days.

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Let’s Start At The Top

It was like any other day, or so it seemed. It was November 26th 2019, right before Thanksgiving and my mom was on her way from Mississippi through I-30 westbound in Arkansas, she had spoke with my grandma earlier that day and I had just finished making breakfast for lunch. After we finished eating I was going to get some extra ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner and I noticed I had a message from a relative that I somehow had missed. And at the same time my grandma received a phone call from my Great Uncle Danny.

He told her to stay calm and listen to him. He told her my mom had just been in a severe car accident and at the time was being transported to a hospital in Hot Springs. My Great Aunt Lil called and I answered and while talking to her I began packing my bag. It was about 3 in the afternoon by the time we took off, with a 4 and a half-hour drive to our destination.

I stopped once in Henderson TX to fuel up and then. drove straight on.

It was dark and storming terribly, so I had to drive extra careful and that delayed us some. During our trip, my mom had been at two other hospitals before she was transferred to UAMS. None of the calls we got from any of the hospitals sounded hopeful and they weren’t able to give us any detailed information over the phone. All they could tell us was that she was critical and it didn’t look good. We had no idea what to expect. We arrived there a little after 9 pm

As we made our way into the emergency room and identified ourselves, we were quickly taken to a room where the hospital chaplain was waiting to speak with us. Only the worse thoughts possible filled our minds at that time. She spoke with us about what was going on along with another Dr. that would be accompanying the surgeon that would be working on my mom. They explained in detail what they knew so far and none of it sounded too good, but they assured us even with all the damage and considered risks, she was fully conscious and that alone was a miracle in itself and reassurance that there was hope.

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You Are Not Hidden

A few moments later, which seemed like an hour, we were finally taken to the ER where she was, moments before they came to take her off to surgery. We prepared ourselves for the worst imaginable. Fortunately, the doctors and nurses had already cleaned her and while it was horrific it wasn’t nearly as awful as our minds had imagined.  

It’s interesting how our imagination can get away from us right? The human in us typically wants to imagine the worst outcome possible. For some reason, for a lot of us, that is who we are.  We have to fight the negativity and the pessimism of our own minds. It’s why it’s so important to try our best to not be overrun with emotions. While emotions are totally normal, they can get away from us and cause more harm than good. And in the end, God is always in control.  And God has the final word.

As me and my Grandma entered the room and let my mom know that we were there, she immediately responded and knew exactly who we were and reached for our hands. My spiritual Grandma Sister Ward was on the phone and my Grandma asked if she wanted to pray and that is what we began to do. I told my mom that I was going to play a song for her and asked if she wanted to hear it and she said yes. It was Lauren Daigle, “Rescue You” as we played that song and prayed my mom was completely aware and responsive the entire time.

God was on the scene, he’d been on the scene from the moment the accident occurred. Had he not, you’d be reading an entirely different story right now. It was about 9:30 pm before she was ever admitted to the OR and surgery began. We waited for literally hours, all night.

The surgery finally ended somewhere around 4:00 in the morning.

After the Surgeon updated us on everything, while it was a LOT of information to take in and we still weren’t out of the woods yet, we were able to finally breathe for a moment. The fact is she had got through just about the worst part of it. And while there were still many more complications and risks looming over her. She had made it, and doctors assured us again, that alone in itself was a MIRACLE.

The Hospital Chaplain checked in on us all through the night and just before she left for the Holiday she told me about this little Family Room that I could sign up for and sleep in at night and just rest and lounge around in during the day with the other families.

She also told me there was a 24 hr lobby cafe right below us that would likely be serving a Thanksgiving special the next day for the Holiday. She was right. And here was the plate I was able to get so it still felt like some kind of Holiday. But in the end, if they’re not about family then what are these holiday’s all about anyway? Nothing. To me, that’s what they’ve always been about. (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the Food! But I love cooking and having the food with/for the people MORE.)

Because everything always tastes better “together”.

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The Family Room

As I made my way into “The Family Room” for the very first time and I began to “set up camp” I tried to keep mostly to myself for the first few nights. I had ‘claimed’ a corner which I held for at least three weeks.

It didn’t take long before I began interacting with the other family members. It was almost impossible not to. Some of the people who had spoken to me had been there weeks before we even arrived and they were still there weeks after we left. I would look around in the room and everyone else had something different going on in their life. A Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister. They all had family in there.

They were ALL hurting. They were all hoping, praying. Waiting…

It’s truly amazing how Hospitals can be some of the most horrific places in people’s lives, but for those who welcome a newborn into this world, it can also be one of the happiest places. All under the same roof, there’s new life and death. Miracles, and tragedies. Heartaches and hardships, victories, and milestones. But the ICU floor is one of the gloomiest. Almost everywhere I would turn there was grief, sadness, fear, and pain. You couldn’t help but HURT for others.

I had quickly become friends with a lot of different family members, we all told each other our “stories” our “why’s”, our “What are you in for’s” we got to know each other. We’d report to each other about how the other family members were doing and we’d pray for one another and help each other in any way we could. One lady brought homemade dumplings. I’ll never forget.

They were GOOD!

I won’t list any names but you will read this I’m sure, and you will know who you are. And I just want to say to my “Hospital Family” I know we experienced some DARK days in that place and I know some of us experienced much darker ones than others and we may not all have gotten the “Miracle” we hoped for. But I’ll always believe that one thing is certain. We were most certainly not there by CHANCE. We all met for a reason and I’ll always be grateful we met.  

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Thank You To EVERYONE

There was really SO much that happened during our time in Little Rock Arkansas that I can’t even write enough about it. In fact, if I don’t stop somewhere this is going to turn into a novel. But I just want to say THANK YOU. I wanted to note that during one of the most tragic times in mine and my family’s life (after having already endured SO much) we had a TEAM from all over this country and even the WORLD that bound together in prayer, moral and financial support.

Words cannot even begin to express the gratitude and appreciation that has filled our hearts. Hearts of GOLD you have, every single one of you.

There were really so many people who called, messaged, and supported us through that time that I couldn’t name all of them if I tried.

They are extraordinary people who showed up in unprecedented times.

I remember coming out from the restroom back into the Family Room and my Grandma was sitting there, eating this BEAUTIFUL edible arrangement. I had always wanted one of those! My mom was in one of her surgeries or having something done at the time and so we couldn’t see her or be with her and leaders in our company had this beautiful gift sent to us.   What an incredibly kind gesture!

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Our Home Away From Home Christmas

We eventually had to get a place to stay for when mom got out of the hospital so she’d have some time to recover before we made the long journey back home to the ranch in TX. The Hospital Chaplain had told us about this ministry that helped cancer patients and people who were from out of town that needed a place to stay that was more comfortable than a hotel and still close to the hospital. Which we would have never even been able to have gotten if it weren’t for the numerous donations from team members, church family, family, friends and so many more. God bless the kindness and generosity of humankind.

As you saw pictured above was the little Christmas Tree on display that the children from the church came and put up in all their apartments. Also while I was in the hospital with my mom and Grandma the Girl Scouts had came and hung a wreath on our door. It was all SO special.

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A Hospital Christmas

While I wasn’t able to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal, because of the convenience of the apartment and another kind gesture of a gift card from Whole Foods given to us by the incredible people of such an incredible ministry. I was able to purchase some ingredients and throw us together a meal. It was December 25th 2019 and as you can see from the photo above, I had spent all Christmas eve working on our “feast!”

Here’s me and my grandma rolling my mom out of her hospital room, down the hall a short trip to the little family waiting room on the ICU floor where I had our Christmas spread awaiting.

And as you can see pictured on the left she made it and my what a feast we did enjoy!

It was pineapple glazed TURKEY ham, all the fixin’s and homemade sweet tea to wash it all down!  

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In Conclusion:

I truly do appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read and reflect upon this tragic and life changing event for my mom and my family. It is hard to believe it has almost been a full year since all this took place. But at the same time, you have to say “what a blessing!”

I wanted to share this story in hopes to remind everyone of something because I’ve realized with the election quickly approaching, it can be far too easy for people on all sides to get caught up in the divisive rhetoric. This sort of “group hate” mentality of labeling, demonizing, and dehumanizing those who have a different political ideology than ourselves. When in reality, the contempt and belief that we hold about those who differ from ourselves couldn’t be further from the truth.

Not So Different After All… 

The fact is, a lot of us lived the same kind of life, we ate the same kind of cereal growing up, we watched the same kind of Saturday morning cartoons, we played the same kind of card games and the same kind of board games. We all watched Shadow, Chance and Sassy make their incredible journey home, not once, not twice but THREE times.

We all had to have the same Nintendo games or Sega or PlayStation or Xbox, take your pick. We all ate the same happy meals with the same little toys that came in them. And when those towers fell in New York City on 9/11 /01 we all watched in great horror and sadness for our nation, and we all came together the day after too, in mourning for the lives lost that day. Not as Democrat or Republican or black or white, but as Americans with great love for our country and compassion for our fellow man.. You see we really aren’t so different after all.

Because when we are in the hospital waiting rooms together, while our loved ones fight for their lives, our political preferences is typically the last thing on either of our minds. When we was in the hospital nearly 30 days we didn’t think about politics, we didn’t really care who was democrat or republican or any of that. I know that I didn’t.

We were all in that moment, in that “Family Room” just that. “The Hospital Family”, HUMAN, each of us having one hope, one goal, one prayer. And that is for our loved ones to make it out alive.  

SHALOM